It seems a turkey has been eluding capture for quite some time in Newport, Kentucky. The bird, nicknamed Wandering Wanda, has managed to avoid a number of attempts at netting her. Which is not surprising, given that wild turkeys are actually extremely intelligent. What really caught my eye was this line:
Newport Plaza worker Bethany Walker said two wild turkeys blocking a doorway made her late for work this week — she waited 20 minutes for them to leave instead of trying to scare them away.
"Every time I walked to the door, they would start doing a turkey noise," Walker told The Cincinnati Enquirer. "I called my district manager to say I was late to clock in because of wild turkeys."
That’s ever so much more creative than "the dog ate my homework", isn’t it?
Why they are among the most disliked groups in America. Lawyers, of course. A teenage girl complained to her father that her softball coach was insulting teammates. The father, an attorney, promptly sued the coach. For three million dollars. For inflicting emotional distress. Because the coach used the term "two-year old" to describe the teenager and sometimes called other girls idiots.
In an all too rare display of actual sanity, the California judge who heard the case dismissed it out of hand.
Sadly, the judge completely missed a big opportunity to call the father a two-year old idiot for wasting everyone’s time.
Storms roared through six states over the weekend, with tornados touching down in a number of places. Nineteen deaths were attributed to the storms. Although we did not have tornados where we are, we did have a series of very strong storms hit across the area late Saturday and early Sunday, probably part of the same system the linked article describes.
One of the facts of life in the Midwest that seems odd when you first move here is that so many cities and towns have extensive systems of sirens in place. Tornados are that common. They mostly arrive in the springtime, but can happen at any time of the year. In our area, the sirens are tested at 11 AM on the first Saturday of the month. The sirens can be heard quite a distance from the city limits. The first time I heard a test, I was in town.
This enormous wave of sound swelled up coming from all directions. The wailing was loud enough that it was difficult to carry on a conversation. I remember asking someone what was going on. They told looked at me as if I obviously wasn’t too bright and said, "First Saturday". Which clarified nothing at all, but did let me know it was routine and nothing to worry about. Where I was raised, the only sirens towns had were at the volunteer fire department, used to call members when they were needed. Here they have one of those plus quite a few more.
But, in time, I stopped even noticing the siren tests on the first Saturday of the month. You become used to it, even though the sound is a physical presence, pulsing into your body as well as your ears. You just kind of think "test" to yourself and go on about your business. But if the sirens sound any other time, it’s time to turn on the weather and see what is going on. Real warnings come only a few times a year.
Weird Stuff | Gaius Monday, 3 April , 2006 | 
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