Our Newest Sponsor!

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have been struggling along, blogging for free. Since we're poor and all, we've been actively seeking advertisers to help pay the expenses around here. Hell, just keeping the Magic 8-Ball photographer in pretzels is a MAJOR expense. You have no idea how that guy can eat. But we digress.

At any rate, we have FINALLY landed a major advertiser here at the Boulevard and we are very excited. Ladies and gentlemen, Blue Crab Boulevard is very proud to present:

Talibanmates.com

Please Visit Our Sponsors!

Our thanks to Yale for helping us secure this lucrative sponsor!

Update: Welcome visitors from Nail Yale. Please do look around. Other Yale related posts are under the Yale Follies category on the sidebar.

Update On The Sarge

Sarge has arrived in Iraq after acclimation in Kuwait. He is currently undergoing training in the M1117 Guardian ASV. He's loving the vehicle. Very fast, handles well and a success as far as he is concerned.

He read all the comments on his first post and wanted to pass along his very humble thanks for all the kind words. He was frankly awed at the response.

He has promised more posts as soon as he is situated.

NASCAR, NBC And Muslims

A whole bunch of bloggers have been posting about NBC, the networks attempt to recruit "Muslim looking men" and the networks apparent attempt to set up NASCAR for an "expose'".

To recap, a memo was obtained that showed NBC was actively trying to recruit men of Muslim appearance to show up at NASCAR races to try to provoke an anti-Muslim response which would be broadcast on Dateline NBC - those wonderful, integrity-based people who brought you exploding pickup trucks. That they attached rockets to to make explode. Yeah, them.

Well, there are two things to consider here. Reports here say that NBC has already tried this at at least one race - but they got no response. So maybe, just maybe they leaked this memo to try to provoke a response. Or they really are as outright fricking stupid as they sound.

Well, Blue Crab Boulevard, always at the forefront of High Journalistic Standards™ has come up with a modest proposal of our own. To wit:

Date: Wed, 05 Apr 2006 13:05:54 -0800 (PST)
From: Subject: Looking for redneck Males to participate in Blue Crab Boulevard broadcast Segment

[Forwarded]

Hey, Y'all,

I hope everyone is doing well.

I have been talking with a producer of the up and coming major force in broadcasting today, Blue Crab Boulevard and they are in the process of filming a piece on anti-redneck and anti-NASCAR discrimination at the NBC network. They are looking for some redneck male candidates for their show who would be willing to go to non-redneck gatherings and see if they attract any discriminatory comments or actions while being filmed by Blue Crab Boulevard.

They recently taped two ball cap wearing men decked out in American flag T-shirts visiting a Starbucks in Oakland to see how people would treat them. They set them up with hidden microphones and cameras, etc. (They were beaten with biscotti, by the way).

They want to do the same thing 2 or 3 other times (in various parts of the USA) with one or two redneck men in each setting. They are looking for men who actually "look redneck". They want a guy with no Southern accent whatsoever, a good thick beard, an outgoing personality, and someone willing to wear a Dale Earnhardt, Jr. T-shirt during the filming.

They also want someone who is fairly well accomplished and has contributed to American society at large in some meaningful way. Like crushing a beer can on his head or shooting a possum.

That said, I'm urgently looking for someone who can be filmed this April 1st weekend at a Border's event celebrating their fearless commitment to free speech (and other smaller events) in Virginia. Blue Crab Boulevard is willing to fly in someone and cover their weekend expenses (Ed Note: at a Motel 6). The filming would take place all day on Saturday and Sunday.

We already have a Daisy Dukes wearing sister who will be filmed there but a redneck is also needed to join her. I also need candidates for the other filming segments which will take place in the following weeks.

A few weeks later, Blue Crab Boulevard will fly all the filmed participants to Daytona to interview them as a group about their experience and thoughts on discrimination they've faced at the NBC offices, especially in light of the times we live in (lying media, scumbag networks, etc.). The show, if approved by Blue Crab Boulevard (highly likely), is expected to air sometime this summer.

What I need from interested candidates is an email with an attached clear photograph, a resume, contact information and a sack full of cash. I also need basic information such as age, ethnic background, accomplishments, etc. (Bonus for owning a pickup with TWO shotguns in the rack).

The sooner I can get this the better and please don't make emails too long. I will then submit a group of candidates to Blue Crab Boulevard so they can choose the people for the show.

Please forward this to all redneck lists you can. Because of the upcoming filming in Virginia, this is pretty time-sensitive. My contact information is below.

Hey, Y'all, watch this,

Buford T. Justice

Penraker On Immigration

I think Penraker has it right on this issue. The Republicans are in enormous danger right now of fracturing over immigration. We need to do something to stem the flow of illegals. Granting what amounts to amnesty to people who march through our streets demanding that they be allowed to be Mexicans rather than Americans is a disaster politically. Average, middle of the road Americans are not happy about this at all.

Pay attention, Republicans, pay attention.

Tolerance For Everyone!

Unless you support our troops.

A school principle has banned students from wearing any clothing that might show support for our troops. Anything camouflage or showing the colors of the American flag are not allowed.The caption to one of the photos reads as follows:

Kirsten Golgart, 14, left, Chrissy Post, 12, center, and Colton Baker, 14, all of Westminster, pose in clothes they say Shaw Heights Middle School officials contend are inflammatory. While Chrissy says she was told to put on a jacket to cover what school officials called "patriotic" clothing, school officials said such common color combinations are not banned.

Myla Shepherd, principal of Shaw Heights Middle School, should be immediately banned. That should correct the problem.

“Much Ado About Hairdo”

So says Representative Cynthia McKinney this morning on The Early Show on CBS. She wants everyone to know she changed her hairstyle and that is why she believes the Capitol Police officer failed to recognize her. She says the officer should have recognized her and is charging that racism played a part.

Well, We here at Blue Crab Boulevard suspect the problem is not that she went from cornrows to a fluffy afro. We think the problem is she did not go far enough.

One of our subsidiaries, Mr. Gaius' House of Hair Design and Taxidermy (Our motto: Hair, fur, what's the difference?") has a make-over suggestion that just couldn't be beat (apologies to Arlo Guthrie). We submit that this hairstyle would provide instant recognition!

Blue Crab Boulevard; always ready to help!

Good Lord

Joanne Jacobs has up one of the worst examples of PC run amok I have ever heard of. A student is dropped off at school, reaches in his pocket, realizes he has a Swiss Army knife that he had used the day before. He goes right to the principle, explains what happened. The principle calls him a model student.

Then suspends him for ten days and recommends expulsion.

Read it.

This is insanity, folks. There must be some common sense applied even when rules are in place for the safety of the students. Apparently zero tolerance also yields zero brains.

Absolute Astonishment

OK, as much as I read, as much as I poke around finding stuff to blog about, as closely as I follow things going on in Iraq and the Middle East in general, this came as a complete, utter surprise.

My Election Analysis has some astonishing numbers up. They are not from some right-wing war supporter, they are from the Brookings Institution, a very liberal group indeed. They show, rather dramatically, steadily, consistently declining casualty figures, not just our armed forces, but in every other classification as well. Military, police, civilian, you name it.

As he puts it:

My only point is that if the data you’ve received left you completely surprised by these numbers, what does that really say about the completeness of the data you’ve received?

It proves just how bad the lies the media are telling are. Worse than even I thought.

H/T Instapundit for the link

New Student Interview

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard are absolutely relentless in our pursuit of the truth. Our intrepid Magic 8-Ball photographer gets very little credit for his skill at capturing important moments in history. Yet he gallantly continues, day after day, laboring to bring you the latest lowdown from Yale. Today we have a candid photo of president Richard Levin and a close adviser having a chat with a new candidate for admission as a special student. After all, it's important that Mr. Hashemi feel right at home, isn't it?

(Look, if you can do a better photoshop, please do. Otherwise quit complaining).

Site Attack Update

Well, the attack I mentioned yesterday has abated now. I have no idea if the hosting company or Google security managed to do something or if whoever it was lost interest. But the rapid-fire hits stopped like a switch was thrown at about AM today.

Mind you, all the search engine hits drove my little blog up the Google rankings. So it accomplished the opposite of closing me down - it made me more visible.

Something Old, Something New

Cathy Seipp's latest NRO column discusses the differences between a new WB television show Pepper Dennis and the old series The Flying Nun. While never a fan of the latter show, I can see her point. The new WB show seems so vapid, I certainly wouldn't watch it. (Big surprise there, I actually watch very little 'popular' television). But as Cathy points out:

The Flying Nun was no more inane than Pepper Dennis and probably only superficially more wholesome, but I think there's a reason it ran for years and odds are the WB show won't.

There was a difference in television many years ago. It was a much simpler time. The problems depicted (and always solved in 30 minutes) in the shows are quaint by today's standards. But there was a charm to the old shows not present in today's TV fare.

More important than all that though is one burning issue. The title of the new show (starring Rebecca Romijn*) is Pepper Dennis. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have NEVER met anyone in real life named "Pepper". Aside from Angie Dickinson's character in the old Police Woman shows, we have never even HEARD of anyone named Pepper. Is the name just a Hollywood thing?

* Just an excuse for a gratuitous link to yet another model's photos. You're welcome.

I Simply Must Get A Postcard From This Town

I really thought this article must have been a leftover from April Fool's day when I read the name of the town. Apparently it is not.

Motorists using satellite navigation systems around the town of Crackpot in North Yorkshire, England have been finding themselves stuck at the top of a tall cliff due to some sort of programming error. It has become a frequent enough occurrence that local residents want something done about it before there is a big accident.

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard try to make sure we are not suckered by hoaxes, so we searched around and found photographic evidence that there is indeed a Crackpot in North Yorkshire, England.

OK, that was funny, here's the real proof.

Good Thing He Wasn’t Singing Along

A 23 year-old Indian Born British man was frog-marched off an airplane, detained and questioned on suspicion of terrorism. The reason? He listened to a couple of songs in a cab to the airport.

The cabbie alerted police after listening to the lyrics of "London Calling" by The Clash and "Immigrant Song" by Led Zeppelin. He was suspicious when the passenger was playing those songs on the ride to the airport.

"I got frogmarched off the plane in front of everyone, got my bags searched, asked every question you can think of," Mann, a mobile phone salesman, told his local newspaper, the Hartlepool Mail, on Monday — a story that was picked up by the national press on Wednesday.

"I was being held for questioning under the Terrorism Act," he said.

By the time Mann was set free his plane had already departed.

The offending lyrics by The Clash include the lines: "London calling from the faraway towns, now war is declared and battle come down.

"London calling to the underworld, come out of the cupboard, you boys and girls."

"Immigrant Song", for its part, starts: "The hammer of the gods will drive our ships to new lands, to fight the horde singing and crying Valhalla, I'm coming!"

You're less likely to be arrested in England if you're a burglar than a music fan it seems.

Now, I can understand arresting someone for listening to Led Zeppelin, that should be a crime. But The Clash?

(Just imagine the police reaction if he'd sung the line, "Drop your bombs between the minarets"*. Wouldn't have been pretty.)

* Rock The Casbah, The Clash, 1982

A Word Of Advice

Blue Crab Boulevard, as it always does, humbly presents today's bit of advice:

Do not use live ammunition as a flyswatter.

A teacher in Ventura, California blew his hand off and suffered burns when he slammed a live 40mm cannon shell down on his desk to kill a bug.

Colla found the 40 mm round while hunting years ago and "obviously he didn't think the round was live," said Dennis Huston, who teaches computer design alongside Colla.

Oh, a final bit of advice. If you find an artillery round lying about, it's not safe to assume it is inert.

Fear Can Be A Good Thing

My youngest daughter visited this site from school yesterday (she left a comment). She told me she had done so so she could point out the rifle she won to one of her friends. Her teacher left the picture of it up on the screen during class (we live in a - so far at least - sane town where the very thought of firearms is not taboo).

It seems her male classmates were somewhat frightened by her. Not only does she own a gun, she won it in a shooting competition.

Now, as the father of a 13 year-old daughter, I am of course very protective of her. I think it's a good thing if boys are somewhat afraid of her. I would prefer they stay that way. That way they will treat her nicely. Sort of the way you handle a live grenade.