I Don’t Even Want To Think About The Withholding

Sarah Patterson is finally, at age 22, going to file income taxes. She attended a workshop to do just that. Up until now she has never reported her income, but she wants to be a taxpaying member of society instead of being considered a tax evader. Up until now, she has not reported any income, even though she says she is making a pretty good living.

As a foot fetish model. Men pay to gawk at and stroke her feet. Apparently quite a few men.

But how to list her various revenue streams? Ms. Patterson is self-employed — getting her own private clients through word of mouth — but also receives regular payment when booking a foot massage session through her booking agency, the Foot Worship Palace, a Manhattan company that employs fetish models. On top of that, she is an English tutor for immigrants.

She has a booking agency for this?

Well, kudos for joining the ranks of taxpayers. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard applaud Ms. Patterson for doing the right thing. We just really, really don't want to know any more details about your career path. Really.