We have a completely new crime to report in our intermittent "Criminal Mastermind" series. This is a definite first. A drug addict and would-be mugger fled after his intended victim told him the bag she was carrying held some fresh dog excrement. She'd apparently cleaned up after her dog.
Police captured him after identifying him by DNA.
The judge sentenced the failed turd burglar to four years in prison, telling him it was a "testament to his incompetence" that he had attempted to steal a bag of dog excrement.
We here at Blue Crab Boulevard heartily second that. While holding our noses.
UPDATE: Added the link so Black Jack wouldn't think I was making it up!
Are you making this up? I was going for it, but the DNA identification set off the “tilt” light.
Oops, forgot the link. It’s real, Black Jack.
Failed turd burgler.
That’s one designation you don’t hear every day.
Hopefully you don’t hear the opposite term, either!