In a live action remake of the Alfred Hitchcock classic The Birds, police in Put In Bay, Ohio responded to complaints that a bird was attacking passersby on Lake Erie island. Whereupon the feathered fury went after the investigating officers. They gallantly retreated.
The unidentified avian adversary can be recognized by it's distinctive coloration. It is black with red spots. And it's freaking mean, too. The police are not sure if this is the same bird that attacked joggers near the same spot last year.
We strongly advise residents to board up their windows at once. Make sure all openings are tightly closed. And don't forget the darn chimney like the dummies in the movie! Now that the perilous pigeon (Or perhaps deadly duck of death) has tasted human flesh, your days are numbered.
Not that we're trying to fear-monger or anything.
“They gallantly retreated” Heh, I wonder if they did so like the knights in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.
“He bravely turned his tail and fled…..”
Don’t forget…penguins a birds too. They just can’t make up their minds if they are staying in the water or out.
Obviously, the only solution is for those pesky humans to leave the habitat of this wonder of nature.
Or we could restore the ‘predator-prey’ relationship.
I opt for the latter.
mmmm, squab
Pingback: Blue Crab Boulevard » Blog Archive » It’s Starting!
Pingback: Blue Crab Boulevard » Blog Archive » See What We Mean?