No Pizza Is Safe
The bear legion of the animal uprising have had enough of oatmeal and granola. Now they are coming for your pizza. Even worse, they want your booze!
STATELINE, Nev. - A bear cub drew a crowd of spectators at a Lake Tahoe neighborhood as it munched on barbecue-chicken-and-jalapeno pizza in the back seat of a vintage red Buick convertible.
It also apparently washed it down with a swig of a Jack Daniel's mixer, an Absolut vodka and tonic, and a beer taken from a cooler, the vehicle's owner said.
About 30 people watched the cub lumber around a parking lot in upper Kingbury Grade on Sunday before it homed in on the Buick and the spicy pizza on the floor.
The bruin was unfazed by the car's horn the blew nonstop as the cub pressed the seat into the steering wheel.
"The bear was loping along in the parking lot and then decides to get inside the car," said resident Jerry Patterson.
"People were screaming at him, the horn was going off, but he was completely unaware. He did what he wanted to do and the people didn't matter."
The bear remained inside the 1964 Buick Skylark for about 20 minutes and at times put his paws on the dash as if he were holding on for a ride, Patterson said.
The owner of the car, David Ziello of South Lake Tahoe, said the bruin didn't cause any damage, but slopped cheese and jalapenos on the seats and floor.
So now we add baleful boozing bruins to the ghastly grizzlies of granola. Nobody is safe, we tell you. Nobody! Just think, hordes of drunken bears descending on pizzerias all across the globe. This could get messy.
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By Black Jack, Wednesday, 5 July , 2006 @ 1:51 pm
The Lake Tahoe brigade has been active for some time:
A few years back, a very angry mountain lion burst through the bedroom window of a house in North Lake Tahoe. It terrified the women there hissing and growling, spoiling for a fight. Then, after going room to room, it sniffed the air and as if having accomplished its task, calmly left the way it entered.
However, the local authorities covered for the big cat claiming it had seen its reflection in the window glass, thought an interloping competitor was challenging essential territorial progressives, and understandably leapt to the attack. We at BCB know differently.
I was once attacked by a duck, and then by a beaver in Tahoe City, but the detalis of those two assaults are still classiffied.