A Lost Manuscript Found

A rare manuscript fragment written by none other than Doctor Watson has been discovered. Here, published for the first time is that manuscript. Remember, you saw it at Blue Crab Boulevard first!

A Case of Multiple Identities

"My dear fellow," said Sherlock Holmes as we sat on either side of the fire in his lodgings at Baker Street, "life is infinitely stranger than anything which the mind of man could invent. We would not dare to conceive the things which are really mere commonplaces of existence. If we could fly out of that window hand in hand, hover over this great city, gently remove the roofs, and peep in at the bizarre things which are going on, the strange dressing habits, the poor hygiene, the bad home decor, the lousy Feng Shui planning and the complete misunderstanding of how a toilet actually works, it would make us launch that wonderful lunch of kippered herring on toast in a most spectacular fashion."

He held out his snuffbox of old gold, with a great amethyst in the centre of the lid. Its splendour was in such contrast to his homely ways and simple life that I could not help commenting upon it.

"Ah," said he, "I forgot that I had not seen you for some weeks. It is a little souvenir from the King of Lower Slobovia in return for my assistance in the case of the missing Speedo. Which in the King's case, frankly should have remained missing. He's at least 350 pounds."

As he spoke there was a tap at the door, and the boy in buttons. entered to announce Miss Mary X, while the lady herself loomed behind his small figure like a Mastiff eying a fireplug. Sherlock Holmes welcomed her with the easy courtesy for which he was remarkable, and, having closed the door and bowed her into an armchair, he looked her over in the minute and yet abstracted fashion which was peculiar to him.

"So, how was your flight from Rio, Miss X?" Holmes inquired.

"Why, how could you possibly know I'd just arrived from Rio, Mr. Holmes?", she blurted.

"I see by your six-inch stiletto heels, your sequined bikini and the feather headdress you're wearing that you've just returned from Brazil."Holmes retorted. "So what brings you to see the most famous detective of all time?" Holmes said, modestly.

"Well, sir, I need your assistance in solving a mystery of such import that it could shake the very foundations of the world as we know it. In fact, it could well result in the very end of the world. Or not, it depends." (Miss X seemed a bit overexcited to my medical eye).

"Oh, the Greenwald incident you mean." Holmes answered. Miss X fainted.

After reviving her with a brisk application of mouth-to-mouth resuscitation (she did look fetching in the sequined bikini after all), Holmes helped her regain her composure by handing her a glass with four fingers of Wild Turkey. Then another. (I suspected he had some ignoble intentions).

After gulping the contents, Miss X wanted to know how Holmes could have possibly known what she was going to ask him for help with. "Elementary, my dear Miss X, I read blogs, even though they will not be invented for over a century. I like to stay ahead of the technology", he answered.

"But the mystery of the multiple identities of the sock puppets has been solved. For the answer all you have to do is…..

The manuscript ended there and we will never know what Holmes found to reveal the solution to the case of the multiple identities. Or how his romance with Miss X ended up. But you can head over to Ace of Spades to see what he has to say about it.  Confederate Yankee also did some work on it, but his site is down. I'll update with a link when it comes back online. (Hat tip to The Anchoress for the idea for this post).

UPDATE: Confederate Yankee is back up and his post is here.

• 

  By Dan Collins, Friday, 21 July , 2006 @ 6:02 pm

  Just a GiGilo, everywhere you go
  People read the posts rejoining. (rejoining)
  Spam at every site, telling folks they bite,
  Every night some sock suborning.
  There will come a day, truth will have its way,
  Then what will they say about you? (about you?)
  When the end comes, you ho,
  They’ll say “Just a GiGilo,”
  As Ace goes on without you. (without you)

• 

  By andycanuck, Friday, 21 July , 2006 @ 10:05 pm

  Sounds a bit like The Case of the Missing Harleigh at http://tinyurl.com/k3aaa (via LGF).

Other Links to this Post

1. The Anchoress » Written under duress…I mean Guinness! — Friday, 21 July , 2006 @ 4:25 pm

2. Blue Crab Boulevard » Blog Archive » There Are Sock Puppets — Sunday, 23 July , 2006 @ 1:47 pm