Another Sherlock Holmes Manuscript Found!

Wow, I have to tell you, Blue Crab Boulevard is absolutely the luckiest site ever! We found yet another lost fragment of a manuscript written by Dr. Watson his very own self! It details yet another Sherlock Holmes mystery , this one is one for the ages!

The Adventure of the Capitol Hill Blue Carbuncle

I had called upon my friend Sherlock Holmes upon the second morning after Christmas, with the intention of wishing him the compliments of the season. He was lounging upon the sofa in a purple dressing-gown, looking haggard and exhausted. A battered laptop computer lay next to him, seemingly thrown aside.
“You are engaged,” said l; “perhaps I interrupt you.”
“Not at all. I am glad to have a friend with whom I can discuss my results. The matter is a perfectly trivial one” — he jerked his thumb in the direction of the laptop — “but there are points in connection with it which are not entirely devoid of interest and even of instruction.”
I seated myself in his armchair and warmed my hands before his crackling fire, for a sharp frost had set in, and the windows were thick with the ice crystals. “I suppose,” I remarked, “that, homely as it looks, this thing has some deadly story linked on to it — that it is the clue which will guide you in the solution of some mystery and the punishment of some crime.”
“No, no. No crime,” said Sherlock Holmes, laughing. “Only one of those whimsical little incidents which will happen when you have Eight billion human beings all jostling each other within cyberspace. Amid the action and reaction of so dense a swarm of humanity, every possible combination of events may be expected to take place, and many a little problem will be presented which may be striking and bizarre without being criminal. We have already had experience of such.”

“You see, I have been following closely the investigations of Eric, the proprietor of a website called Classical Values and his investigation of the man who was not, one George Harleigh. An oft-quoted expert who simply did not exist.”
“But how could he be oft-quoted if he did not actually exist,” I  asked.
“Elementary, my dear Watson. Harleigh was the figment of imagination dreamed up by Capitol Hill Blue to prove their points. He never existed. When the truth came out, the folks at Capitol Hill Blue made all references to Harleigh disappear, one by one.”
“But that cannot be,” I exclaimed. “For is not the internet the place where all truth can be found forever? Even though it will not be invented for over a century?”
“Well, there are Google caches of many things, and yet the people at Capitol Hill Blues continue to rewrite history even now.”
Holmes tossed off his Corona and waded into the surf for a quick swim. The sun beat down fiercely on the hot beach.
I ogled the waitress in her lovely sarong, even though I knew it was politically incorrect to do so.
“But how can reality be erased so quickly, Holmes?” I asked.
“Again, it is elementary, my dear Watson,” He said as he shook the water from his hair. “The reality you think you see on the internet is not actually there at all.”
Holmes strapped his snowshoes firmly to his feet and rose to stride briskly into the snowdrifts, imploring me to follow.
“Come, Watson, we are off to see the Wizard about a carbuncle! Do you by any chance know what a carbuncle is?”
I followed meekly, trying to remember. The waitress looked very, very cold indeed. A sarong is not the best dress for a blizzard.

Here endeth the fragment.

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2 Responses to Another Sherlock Holmes Manuscript Found!

  1. “I am glad to have a friend with whom I can discuss my results. The matter is a perfectly trivial one” — he jerked his thumb in the direction of the laptop —”…

    “Again, it is elementary, my dear Watson,” He said as he shook the water from his hair. “The reality you think you see on the internet is not actually there at all.”

    LOL! I can’t count how many times I have friends ask me about something they’ve read online, because I’ve been messing with modems since the 300 baud dial-up days so they consider me some kind of expert, and the first line out of my mouth every single time is “If you don’t know who wrote whatever you’re reading, don’t necessarily believe a word of it, unless they cite a source. And still don’t be too sure. Hard facts are few and far betwen. Most of it is pure BS. Ask Dan Rather.”

    Then I grab a digital camera, snap their image, and I sit them down for a crash course in the wonders of Photoshopping, to show how I can alter reality. My favorite trick is plugging them in as a replacement for Bubba Clinton shaking hands with JF Kennedy.When they say “Wow, that’s amazing,” I remind them I’m a rank amateur at it and send them off to FARK.

  2. Pingback: Blue Crab Boulevard » Blog Archive » Character Assassination

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