Penguins Deported From Rio

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In a story sure to warm Black Hawk's heart (inside joke, sorry) a group of around 100 penguins who have been living it up in Rio de Janeiro are being deported back to Antarctica by the Brazilian military. The high living flightless waterfowl have been lounging about Ipanema bothering the Brazilian bikini babes after having caught a ride on ice flows.

Penguins arrive from the Antarctic Circle on ice floes that melt in the vicinity of Brazil's shore and the birds wash up on Rio beaches every winter. Typically many of the birds are sent to local zoos.

A plane carrying equipment for an Antarctic naval base will take the penguins to Brazil's southernmost region next month, an air force spokesman said on Monday. They will continue their journey on a naval ship, which will release them into the ocean in their Antarctic habitat.

We're supposed to believe this is all accidental, but we here at Blue Crab Boulevard know the truth about the animal uprising. Sunbathing penguins are the proverbial tip of the iceberg. Wait until the walruses start asking the Brazilian beauties for a date!

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4 Responses to Penguins Deported From Rio

  1. Phil says:

    coo coo ka choo or Hey baby, check out my tusks…

  2. Gaius says:

    As a pickup line, it’s not so good. I think. Then again, I know no Brazilian bikini babes personally.

  3. Blackhawk says:

    AHA! Caught in the act! Sunbathing indeed. They were busy posing as overdressed tourists while arranging their next transportation! I have it on highly well placed unknown and (un)reliable sources that the penguins also had operatives in the casinos hitting the baccarat and using lines like “Fishbreath. James Fishbreath. And you are?”.

    300 million years ago it was the dinosaurs who wrought the wrath of the tuxedoed, flightless flipper clan…for whom does the bell toll now?

    If penguins start sqwaking ‘nevermore’, I’m hopping the first flight to Hal Bop. No, make that Rigel 7.

  4. Black Jack says:

    Those penguins are doing jobs Brazilian penguins won’t do. They’re in Rio looking for a better life, one free from the environmental extremes and social deprivations in Antarctica. They work hard and send what they can back to their families south of the border. Besides, Brazil is a nation of immigrants. Let’s have fair play for penguins, no more Penguin bashing.

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