Forget Snakes On A Plane

After all, that's just a movie, isn't it? We have a real problem now. Monkeys on a train! The animal uprising just keeps getting worse and worse.

NEW DELHI – In an effort to keep monkeys out of the New Delhi subways, authorities have called in one of the few animals known to scare the creatures — a fierce-looking primate called the langur, the Hindustan Times newspaper reported Wednesday.

The decision to hire a langurwallah — a man who trains and controls the langurs — came after a monkey got into a metro car in June, the newspaper reported.

The langur handler is being paid a retainer of India rupees 6,900 ($160) a month, and "he will be called whenever there is a monkey problem," Anuj Dayal, the spokesman for the Delhi Metro Rail Corp., was quoted as saying.

On June 9, a monkey reportedly crawled through some pipes and ended up aboard a train, scowling at passengers and jumping around a car.

So now the monkeys are jumping turnstiles. New Delhi needs Rudy Giuliani to show them how to crack down on those types of low-level crime before the monkeys move on to bigger things!