Chavez Suggests Castro Blow Out His Colon
Hugo Chavez must be trying to whack his competition for leading lefty in the Western hemisphere. Today he suggested that Fidel Castro would benefit from taking a dose of a homegrown concoction to clean out "all the digestive paths".
During a broadcast on Friday to inaugurate new health clinics partly staffed by Cuban doctors, Chavez described the recipe for Fidel's home-grown stomach cure-all known as "tsunami."
"Fidel has a formula for stomach problems and gases and heartburn — the tsunami," Chavez said. "Fifty percent oatmeal, 25 percent whole rye flour, and the other 25 percent whole wheat flour. You mix all that and it's a marvel because it's pure fiber and it cleans the stomach, all the digestive paths."
In previous broadcasts, Chavez said the 'tsunami' had cured his stomach problems while visiting a summit of the Mercosur trade bloc in Argentina.
Chavez, an increasingly influential force in Latin America's resurgent left, maintains an open confrontation with the United States while helping Cuba skirt an embargo imposed by Washington more than four decades ago.
I'm sure doctors everywhere would prescribe a massive blast of fiber to someone who had just undergone intestinal surgery. Not that we're disagreeing that Castro should take something. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have an even better recommendation, though.
This stuff should about do the trick.
World news | Gaius Friday, 11 August , 2006
By guy, Friday, 11 August , 2006 @ 3:38 pm
Actually, a colocynth enema would probably be better - it did wonders for Emperor Claudius I. He never had intestinal problems again. Or any other problems for that matter.
By Matthew, Friday, 11 August , 2006 @ 3:58 pm
Thank you Generalissimo Chavez for your wonderful insight. Every time I start to suspect this tin pot Venezuelan dictator is either crazy or useless, he comes up with another great quote to confirm my suspicions.