Consider the day a man in Missouri had on Sunday. He's spending a quiet day at home just reading the paper. Minding his own business and not doing any harm to anyone. Then he feels a rumbling. He thinks it may be a tornado, which really is enough to pretty much ruin your day. But it turns out not to be that particular weather related phenomenon.
Instead the ground opens up and swallows part of his house, including the garage and his car.
The homeowner was reading the paper when the ground started shifting around 8:30 a.m. Initially, the man thought a tornado was responsible for the loud rumble, said city spokesman Bryan Newberry.
No one was hurt, but at least six other homes in a half-block area were evacuated while geologists evaluated the widening hole. It measured between 55 and 65 feet in diameter and about 75 feet deep.
Newberry said the geologists, including one from Missouri State University, were considering several possibilities, including that an underground cavern gave way.
By early evening, only two homes remained off limits — the partially collapsed residence and another home to the north of it. Newberry said the neighborhood was built in the late 1960s.
And he didn't even get to finish the crossword. What we want to know is when the authorities are going to stop covering up this kind of activity. This is no sinkhole, this is not some collapsed underground cavern. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have convinced ourselves, with no proof whatsoever, just like 9/11 conspiracy buffs, that this is just another part of the animal uprising.
The gophers are getting feisty.
