Hedgehogs Beat McDonald’s Into Submission

A wave of depressed hedgehogs that have been committing suicide recently in England has been misinterpreted by animal lovers. Rather than get the suicidal insectivores the counseling they need, the activists have forced McDonald's to redesign the packaging for the popular McFlurry.

LONDON (Reuters) - Hedgehogs have finally humbled burger giant McDonald's after years of campaigning, forcing the company to redesign its killer McFlurry ice-cream containers.

Up to now the opening in the container has been large enough for hedgehogs to get their heads into for a lick of the left-over dessert — a trap they have then been unable to withdraw from, so dying of starvation in untold numbers.

But from September 1, the wide-mouthed opening in the lid of the McFlurry containers will be reduced in size, making them too small for the sugar-loving animals to get their heads into.

"This is excellent, it is long overdue news," said Fay Vass, chief executive of the British Hedgehog Preservation Society. "We have been in touch with McDonald's about this problem for over five years and are delighted that they have at last solved the problem."

McDonald's said in a statement the design change had resulted from pressure from the society which prompted "significant research and design testing" to develop new packaging.

"The smaller aperture of the lid has been designed to prevent hedgehogs from entering the McFlurry container in the unfortunate incidence that a lid is littered and is then accessible to wildlife," it added.

Typical. Blame the corporation for the hedgehog's depression. The real reason that hedgehogs are so down is because the activists have taken away the one career choice the hedgehogs had open to them. The "animal rights" people banned using hedgehogs as croquet balls, driving the poor creatures to welfare and despair. 

That is, of course, aside from the fact that the activists should be going after the slobs who drop garbage all over the countryside.