How To Win Friends….

…And influence judges. A new self-help bestseller? No, just an object lesson on how not to do so. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard strongly recommend that when on trial for threatening a judge that one should avoid threatening the judge hearing the case.

Ignacio Javier Bilbao Goikoetxea, a convicted murderer and member of armed separatist group ETA, kicked the dock's bullet-proof screen and launched a torrent of abuse at judge Alfonso Guevara and Baltasar Garzon, the judge he had threatened at a previous trial who was appearing as a witness.

"If you're a man, come here … I'm going to skin you alive. Come here if you've got the balls… I look forward to shooting you seven times when I get my hands on you," the shaven-headed Bilbao Goikoetxea told Guevara in the Madrid courtroom.

It is the second time he has been tried for threatening Garzon after being jailed for two years at a previous trial.

Several violent court appearances by ETA defendants have outraged mainstream Spanish opinion over recent months just as the government prepares peace talks aiming to end 38 years of ETA violence following its ceasefire declaration in March.

We presume that the defendant doesn't have much hope of beating the rap.