Some Timely Advice For Men

Should you have occasion to take a drive down the highway, it would be best to leave your penis pump at home.

Police said the 42-year-old man, driving an old Citroen in the Slovak town of Levice, had ignored a "give way" sign.

"It's very likely he had auto-sex (Ed Note: Adds a whole new dimension to that term, doesn't it?) while driving, it is a matter of investigation. After the accident he was found lying in the seat, his pants were off and it (the pump) was placed on his penis," police officer Peter Polak told Reuters.

"I've never seen anything like this, nor have my colleagues," he added.

The man was taken to hospital with head injuries.

That last sentence could be a cause for some confusion. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard are trying to confirm whether the man in question was a judge.