A Chinese man is in the hospital today because he decided to try to pet a Panda at the Beijing Zoo. He found out for a fact what we have long suspected. Despite their cute, cuddly looks, Pandas are actually man-eating monsters!
Zhang Xinyan, from the central province of Henan, drank four jugs of beer at a restaurant near the zoo before visiting Gu Gu the panda on Tuesday, the Beijing Morning Post said.
"He felt a sudden urge to touch the panda with his hand," and jumped into the enclosure, the newspaper said.
The panda, who was asleep, was startled and bit Zhang, 35, on the right leg, it said. Zhang got angry and kicked the panda, who then bit his other leg. A tussle ensued, the paper said.
"I bit the fellow in the back," Zhang was quoted as saying in the newspaper. "Its skin was quite thick."
Zoo officials say they have no plans to punish the panda. Big mistake. Gu Gu has acquired a taste for human flesh. Just wait until the zookeepers begin vanishing one by one. Bwahahaha.
Beware strong drink, folks. It may lead you to try to bite pandas.
Hey, you’ve never done that? Come ON. Had a few beers, maybe a chaser or two, and you decide to go visiting Pandas in the zoo, give them a cuddle? Part of the growing up experience, man.
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I've never been that drunk. But then some people would say I've never grown up, either.Pingback: Blue Crab Boulevard » Blog Archive » Panda Pu-Pu Platter