Put Out An APB!

New Zealand in the news again! Thieves have reached a new low there. Three masked men armed with a hammer  and chisel whacked off the tallywhacker of a tiki that guarded the entrance to the public library in the city of Whangarei. Worst of all, it was the tiniest tallywhacker of the lot, apparently.

Security cameras captured pictures of three masked men using the chisel to remove the tiki's penis early on Sunday morning. The figurine is one of two indigenous Maori designs that stand on "pou" or posts astride the entrance to the library in Whangarei.

Carver Kerry Strongman said the theft had damaged the "mana" or pride of the city.

Strongman said he would begin work immediately on a carving that would restore the tiki to its original state.

Police said they were at a loss to explain the theft, particularly as a nearby statue of Tangaroa, the Maori god of the sea, was better endowed.

We report, you just shake your head.