NOW We Know Why The Llama Got It

Earlier today we reported on the vicious gangland style murder of the llama found in Oakland, California. We knew it was the work of the dreaded animal mafia because the body was found with its legs tied together. Oddly enough, we have now found that the murder was probably a hit ordered by people trying to cover up a scandal involving alpacas. That's right, it's a sordid tale of alpaca paternity.

BLOOMINGTON, Ind. – A judge dismissed a lawsuit filed over the paternity of a baby alpaca, but the ruling might not mark the end of the barnyard soap opera. Cathy Crosson sued in Monroe Circuit Court to get the owners of an Illinois breeding farm to disclose which of its male alpacas sired the year-old offspring of her prized female, Peruvian Lily of the Incas.

She accused Likada Farms, of Wayne, Ill., of improperly breeding Peruvian Lily and then refusing to identify the offspring's father. Without the male's name, Crosson said she cannot register or sell the young alpaca.

But Monroe Circuit Judge E. Michael Hoff said this week that Crosson's case was filed in the wrong venue. He said the out-of-state farm does not do enough Indiana business for the suit to be valid in Monroe County.

That's right, our sources (who talked freely, if somewhat intelligibly, once we plied them with tequila) inform us that the llama was actually the father of the offspring of Peruvian Lily of the Incas. The breeding farm couldn't let that dirty little secret get out, so the llama got whacked.