Bovine Berserker Breaks Free

Untitled document

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard keep trying to warn the world about the nefarious schemes of the animal uprising. We brought you news earlier this year about the porcine berserker who was Taser-proof. (The pig also lawyered up after he was finally brought down). Now comes news out of South Carolina that the animal uprising is deploying Taser-proof cows as part of their evil scheme.

Scott's supervisor gave permission to use the Taser to stun the animal so its owner could rope it.

The first time the animal fell to the ground dazed, but not in a position where the owner could lasso it. Even after a second zap, the owner couldn't corral the animal.

Then the Taser prong fell off and the cow in turn ran off. Deputies spent several hours chasing it in and out of traffic before suspending the pursuit, according to the report.

They later received a call the animal was running toward Walterboro where a city officer saw, but then lost the cow.

The cow hasn't been seen since, apparently. It's up to no good, we say. We demand the the people at Taser immediately come up with an new and improved Taser. There is an obvious need to stay ahead of the animal uprising technologically. We suggest the new device have a "broil" setting.

This entry was posted in Animals. Bookmark the permalink.

5 Responses to Bovine Berserker Breaks Free

  1. Their is a place in the world for all of God’s creatures….
    Right next to the biscuits and gravy.

  2. Bleepless says:

    On porcine berserkers, last night “Mythbusters” tested whether a snapped cable could slice you in half. Rather than use a real human, those wimpy pinkos used a pig. It refused to be sliced. Is this rational? Of course not! WHO’S COVERING UP???

  3. Pingback: Blue Crab Boulevard » Blog Archive » When Bacon Goes Bad

  4. Pingback: Blue Crab Boulevard » There Is A Bright Side To This

  5. Jim C says:

    Nah, I prefer a nice slow BBQ… about 225 for several hours. Fuel the fire with hickory or mesquite. Definately much better that way.

Comments are closed.