British Berserker Bacon

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We here at Blue Crab Boulevard continue to try to get people to pay attention to the oncoming juggernaut of the animal uprising. But do people listen to us? No. Not until it's just too late. We warned everyone in Britain about bacon going bad in the New Forest just a few days ago. Has that stopped people from going into the New Forest? Heck no. This time the badass British bacon berserkers went for a bobby! And his police dog! And it's been captured on video!

Pc Derek Darling and police dog Ash were out on routine foot patrol in the New Forest when they were confronted by a pack of a dozen angry porkers.

The 45-year-old officer was forced to run for nearly half a mile through the forest to the safety of his squad car as the pigs snapped at his heels.

Unfortunately for the officer, a student who was visiting Matley Wood near Lyndhurst, Hants, on a school trip captured the bizarre incident on his mobile phone video camera.

Now Pc Darling and Ash have become unlikely stars after the video was posted on YouTube.

Today the officer described his horror as he realised that he and his seven-year-old dog were vastly outnumbered by the pigs.

Pc Darling said: "I saw a bit of pink on the horizon so I thought it would be a good opportunity for Ash to familiarise himself with pigs as he hadn't encountered them before.

"As we got closer the one pig we first saw got a bit scared of Ash and he went off, but then he returned with about ten more.

"They circled around and then in a sort of military-style manoeuvre made an arrowhead formation and charged straight at us.

"Ash barked at them but then turned his head to look at me with a sort of expression on his face that said 'What do we do now?'.

That's easy, when confronted by a pack of pugnacious pork the correct answer is run like hell. Although if you look at the video, it would appear that the horrendous ham hocks harrying the policeman aren't all that heinous. The kid with the camera just stands there and the pigs wander around aimlessly not bothering him in the least.

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