Or snakes in a cop station! It seems a woman in Shamokin, Pennsylvania was reported to the police as being suicidal. The police responded and found the woman holding a knife to her own throat (I get a distinct mental image of Cleavon Little holding the gun to his own head in Blazing Saddles right now). But the knife just wasn't the right thing. apparently. She grabbed a couple of rattlesnakes she kept about the place and waved them at the officers. The snakes took a small bit of umbrage at this and bit her. Repeatedly.
She put down the knife but began waving the snakes at the officers, and was herself bitten on the arms and face. She put down the snakes and again grabbed the knife, but Mount Carmel police arrived with a stun weapon and used it to immobilize her, Brown said.
The woman was taken to Geisinger Medical Center in Danville for treatment of the snake bites, and officers brought aquariums back to the station containing two western diamondback rattlesnakes, a pygmy rattlesnake and two copperheads, each about 30 inches long, Brown said.
This is the funniest part of all this: The next morning, the police station's receptionist walked into the chief's office, to be greeted by the threatening sound of the rattlers doing what they do best – rattling. And she said: "I dropped my cell phone and almost my coffee." Almost. Her. Coffee. Thank God that's safe.