Killer Koalas Kloned

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The Aussies have lost their marbles completely. Now, we have always been fond of the Australians. A country that produces Fosters and brought us Beccy Cole and shrimp on the barby can even be forgiven for Paul Hogan. But producing test tube koalas to ravage the world is insanity!

GOLD COAST, Australia – Scientists on Monday unveiled three test tube baby koalas produced with new artificial insemination technology designed to ensure the species' survival.

Three of the eight koalas, all born on the Gold Coast in Queensland state, made their first public appearance at a local wildlife sanctuary. They are between 10 and 12 months old.

They were conceived using new breeding techniques, which involve mixing sperm with a special solution that prolongs its shelf life.

Steve Johnston, the project leader and reproductive biologist at University of Queensland's School of Animal Studies, said his team now had the technology to use transported koala semen in Australia and eventually overseas.

They've fallen for that cute act. But it is just an act. The killer koalas blame all their victims on the crocodiles. And they've duped the Aussies into sending their evil all over the world. Now we realize there are people out there who doubt our sincerity in warning about the animal uprising. But we are not off out meds, we have photographic proof that those cute and cuddly looking koalas are stone killers. Our operative from Magic 8-Ball Photography and Auto Detailing, Inc. got this photo at great personal risk. Now that's a knife.

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2 Responses to Killer Koalas Kloned

  1. Brass says:

    They are working their way up to cloning Drop Bears. Everything in that country in either poisonous or wants to eat you.

  2. pst314 says:

    The Proto-Koalas Of the Elders of Down Under?

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