Special Delivery

The US Postal Service likes to use a line from Herodotus as its motto: "Neither snow, nor rain, nor heat, nor gloom of night stays these couriers from the swift completion of their appointed rounds." Nowhere in there, not even remotely does it say anything about squirrels.

Barb Dougherty, a 30-year Postal Service employee, said she was attacked and bitten Monday by a squirrel while delivering mail in Oil City, about 75 miles north of Pittsburgh.

"It was a freak thing. It was traumatic," Dougherty told The Derrick in Oil City. "I saw it there on the porch, put the mail in the box and turned to walk away and it jumped on me."

The animal ran up her leg and onto her back, she said.

"I eventually got a hold of the tail and pulled it off me," Dougherty said. "No one was home at the house where I was delivering the mail, but the neighbor lady heard me screaming and came over."

An ambulance took Dougherty to the hospital, where she was treated for cuts and scratches. The squirrel was killed with a BB gun and sent to a lab to be tested for rabies. Dougherty was given the first series of rabies shots as a precaution.

So now the animal uprising is trying to interfere with the US Mail. This must not be allowed. My subscription to Modern Bloggery is due any day! We must stamp this out! If you see a squirrel waiting to ambush a mail carrier, feel free to bend, fold, spindle and mutilate the ravaging rodent.