Moose In Space!
We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have faithfully tried to document the Animal Uprising™ despite all the whispers behind our backs. Accordingly, faithful readers have been kept abreast of zombie moose, the revenge of Bullwinkle, moose looking for scholarships and the moose (why not meese?) who are overrunning Vermont. Why, it's just like the Nature Channel in here only without the budget. Or production values. Or paychecks. But we digress. Now it is our duty to inform the world of the most evil plan yet devised by the animals.
They plan to take over the International Space Station. And they have enlisted the duplicitous Swedes to help them!
STOCKHOLM (AFP) - With a Swedish astronaut on board, the crew of the space shuttle Discovery are to be treated to Scandinavian delicacies including dried moose meat, crispbread and gingerbread biscuits.
Astronauts on the shuttle — set for launch on December 7 — can also look forward to yoghurts especially created by a Scandinavian company for consumption in space.
"Two products that Arla have developed have been approved by NASA and they will feature on NASA's list of foods that the astronauts can choose from," the Danish-Swedish dairy company said in a statement on Friday.
The two products are a dried milk consisting of lactic pro-biotic bacteria and fruit-flavoured yoghurts that Arla has spent "many years" developing.
Christer Fuglesang, set to be the first Swede in space, has already selected raspberry yoghurt for the duration of the 12-day mission.
Fuglesang hopes to introduce his fellow crew members to other Swedish delights such as dried elk, crispbread and, "seeing as we're approaching Christmas, gingerbread," the Swedish Space Agency said.
The Swedish astronaut is saying he's bringing dried moose meat. But it is much more than that and we, of course, can prove it! Our operative from Magic 8-Ball Confidential Inquiries and Bowling Alley, Inc. managed to get this picture before they repackage the dried moose into nondescript, NASA approved containers.
