Saving The World….
….One ultra-luxury hotel resort at a time. The folks in Europe will be thrilled at the news that some 70 members of the European Parliament will make the tough and dangerous trek to study what to do about world deprivation. Their journey will take them to the Island of Barbados where they will slum in super luxury resorts with names like Amaryllis Beach, Tamarind Cove and Turtle Beach (not to be confused with Turtle Bay) and the Colony Club. They will wrestle the developing worlds problems by sliding down the 70-foot water slide that is installed on one of their prime meeting locations: the good ship Harbour Master. The vessel, 100 feet long, is billed as “the longest floating bar in the Caribbean”. Oh, the humanity!
The assembly kicks off with a “project visit” next Sunday. According to sources at the Barbados embassy in Brussels, this is an EU euphemism for a four-hour chartered cruise aboard the Harbour Master — a 100ft ship billed as “the longest floating bar in the Caribbean”.
The four-deck-high “floating entertainment centre” also sports a 70ft waterslide and an onboard craft village. “It will be a relaxed thing. They shouldn’t have to work too much on it,” said an embassy official.
Delegates will also be able to choose between three “workshops” on Tuesday afternoon — one on the rum industry. MEPs who miss out on the trip will be handed a goody bag containing rum and other Bajan specialities.
Samuel Chandler, permanent secretary for foreign trade in Barbados, said this weekend that he believed the trip was scheduled to visit the West Indies rum distillery.
Later that evening the Bajan parliament will host a reception complete with local dancers and calypso singers.
The politicians’ spouses will have plenty to do too. Their programme includes water sports and a trip to the “eighth wonder of the world”, Harrison’s Cave, a ¾-mile-long limestone cavern. “We can’t just have them sitting round. While their husbands are at work, the spouses can play,” said Chandler.
However, he declined to give details of the rest of the entertainment programme. “We consider our hospitality private. We do not need to publicise it because it can give the wrong impression with different audiences,” he said. Despite the free hospitality, MEPs are entitled to claim a further £90 a day in expenses.
All this will only cost £200,000. But it is worth any price to give a fabulous junket to a bunch of bureaucratic slugs solve the world's most pressing problems. Hey! now we can understand the article about the giant snail invasion of Barbados! They are actually misidentified! They are just EU Parliament members!
World news | Gaius Sunday, 12 November , 2006
By Pam, Sunday, 12 November , 2006 @ 2:31 pm
I had no idea saving the world could be so strenous!
By Gaius, Sunday, 12 November , 2006 @ 2:35 pm
It must be a brutal burden. The hangovers alone would kill lesser people.
By mokus, Sunday, 12 November , 2006 @ 5:36 pm
Don’t blame the potentates of Turtle Bay. It’s not their fault, the peasants are revolting.
By Diva, Sunday, 12 November , 2006 @ 5:51 pm
Socialist leaders acting like jet-setting elitists? Shocking! Thanks for reminding me why I am so happy to live in the USA instead of Europe. They are spending lavishly as they tax, tax and tax people like my parents and relatives who either still live there or own properties there.