We Told You

But did you believe us? Oh, no. You think we're being humorous about the Animal Uprising™. You think it's all one big laugh. We told you about the terror on the Triborough earlier today. Now, from New Jersey comes this item: Kamikaze turkeys unleashing biological weapons. In people's bedrooms!

MILLSTONE TOWNSHIP — The Lane family is going out for Thanksgiving, so they do not need a turkey.

But, need one or not, the Lanes got one — the wild turkey that flew through a second-story bedroom window, right through two glass panes and a screen.

"It was very exciting," said Lisa Lane, 41. "What's so funny (is) it's around Thanksgiving, and I have this wild turkey in my house."

The drama began about 3 p.m. Monday as Lane drove up to her Laurel Court house after picking up her daughter, Lauren, 10, from the nearby middle school. Also in the sport-utility vehicle was Bubbles, the Lanes' 1-year-old West Highland white terrier.

When the flock of about 20 turkeys, occasional visitors, saw Bubbles, they forgot about their meal from the crab apple tree in the yard and took flight. But one did not clear the house.

Wham!

Turkeys are "very wary — they react very quickly and suddenly to any danger," said Tony McBride, a biologist who heads the state Department of Environmental Protection's Wild Turkey Research Project.

A turkey getting into a house or flying through a window happens every few years in New Jersey, where there are an estimated 22,000 to 23,000 of the birds, McBride said.

"Turkeys are good fliers," McBride said. "But when they are pressed, and especially with large obstacles, there's a chance one is not going to make it over."

So the unhappy homeowners called for help:

"My neighbor shows up in his camouflage jacket," Lisa Lane said. "He had a (baseball) bat in his hand."

Lisa Lane told Del Cristo, who will be 43 on Thanksgiving Eve, not to go into the house, but he did not listen. He is a turkey hunter.

State troopers arrived with Mary Klink, who provides animal control services to various municipalities.

"The lady (Lisa Lane) asked, "How do these things turn out?' " Mary Klink said. "I said, after 19 years, this is the first call I ever had for a turkey in the house."

Klink, 45; her husband, John, 50; and Trooper Richard Pogorzelski joined Del Cristo in the hunt.

"They entered (the house), hunted around," Lisa Lane said.

Mary Klink said she wanted to protect the turkey. Del Cristo, who could not be reached for comment, agreed to use the bat only for protection.

But the wily fowl outwitted them all and escaped. But it left a terrible calling card behind.

"The bird had relieved himself all over," Lisa Lane said. "The room was a disaster."

Feathers were all over. But no blood was found, inside or outside the house.

Lisa Lane figured the turkey caused $500 in damage, considering the broken window and the carpet that needed cleaning.

Jake Lane, 8, whose bedroom the turkey trashed, toughed it out and slept in the room Monday night, his mother said. Hmmmmmm, jake — what young male turkeys are called.

"He (Jake) just saved up for this Abercrombie (& Fitch) sweat shirt, and the turkey pooped on it," said Lisa Lane, adding that the sweat shirt cost about $60. "I don't know if it's salvageable."

When will people learn? These creaures are out of control….Hey! Wait a minute. Did they say an 8-year old boy saved up $60 for a sweatshirt? An 8-year old? Send in more turkeys at once!