Eulogy

Time and experience gives perspective on many things. What seemed to be the very end of the world when you are 14-years of age becomes laughable when you are 18. It is hard to even remember when you are 40. But when you do recall something from back then, very often it is now a small thing and is interpreted in a new light. And you may cringe at the memory, then move on. Or you may laugh at yourself for not being able to see then that the event was, really, not all that big a deal. Certainly not worth all the agony you put yourself through all those years ago.

But so many old slights and indignities from so long ago that you thought at the time were world-changing events, are really not much when you look back after a few years. There are, of course, some things that are not softened with time, nor should be. But your perspective changes after you have a few years under your belt. And the more petty things fall away. Conversely, some things you dismissed back then become more important later when you realize how much they really meant. Those are actually the things that can make you cringe when you come to understand them. Those are the memories that come to you and are like biting on tinfoil.

I linked to this last night. It is, I think, a tinfoil memory for Pat Conroy. Here is Pat Conroy's eulogy to his father, Don Conroy, from 1998. I wonder if Pat would change it any now. (I would not, personally. There is a wonderful picture there to be interpreted by each reader. I'd not change a word).