Turkeys On A Train!

Or at least they were trying their darnedest to get on one. The wire report makes light of it and says the turkeys were just trying to escape their Thanksgiving fate.

RAMSEY, N.J. – Some wild turkeys, it appears, were trying to get out of New Jersey before Thanksgiving Day. A spokesman for the NJ Transit said train officials reported a dozen or so wild turkeys waiting on a station platform in Ramsey, about 20 miles northwest of New York City, on Wednesday afternoon. The line travels to Suffern, N.Y.

"For a moment, it looked like the turkeys were waiting for the next outbound train," said Dan Stessel, a spokesman for NJ Transit. "Clearly, they're trying to catch a train and escape their fate."

Transit workers followed the bird's movements on surveillance cameras. "I have no idea how they got there," Stessel said.

A Ramsey police dispatcher said the department had received three calls about the traveling turkeys who also were blamed for causing morning rush hour traffic problems on a roadway.

Sure, laugh it off, you poor fools. We warned earlier that the terror turkeys were plotting attacks on Thanksgiving day. We told you about the dry run they conducted on the Triborough Bridge, we warned you about the fiendish fowls using fiendishly foul biological weapons. We even told you about the lunch money shakedown artists. But people don't listen. So we'll explain this for the clueless. The turkeys were not waiting for the train to escape their fate, but rather to meet their destiny. Try to envision The Taking of Pelham One Two Three with wattles and feathers!