Another Boaring Day

Just your average dull day in the Southern German village of Veitshoechheim became somewhat less dull when a herd of wild boars went rampaging through the town. Why, they even took the time to get in a little shopping in a local boutique.

The weekend mayhem began during morning shopping hours in the town of Veitshoechheim, a police spokesman said Tuesday. Three boars were shot by police, a number of others were killed in traffic accidents and several bit pedestrians.

"One wild boar entered a boutique, scaring the daylights out of a saleswoman," local police said in a statement.

"She tried to hide behind the cash register. When the animal ran out of her shop it smashed the store's inventory, causing 1,000 euros ($1,314) damage." The animals caused further damage to cars amounting to several thousand euros, police added.

The article suggests that the boars were fleeing hunters in the area. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard know full well this is not the case. These are actions by the Animal Uprising™. What the Germans need to do is to import a large number of Texans. As we noted earlier, they have fought the Animal Uprising to a standstill in Texas by killing and eating wild boars.