I’m Surprised Nobody Has Used This Defense

One hears the occasional story about flashers on the New York City subways. Way back when in my college days, my roommate told a story about a flasher on one that scared heck out of the girl he was riding with. (Andy had a ginormous crush on that girl but she did not return the affection). But I digress. So reading this article it struck me that it's kind of surprising that any flasher caught doing his thing on the subway hasn't tried using this as a defense:

The armrest ate my pants.

NEW YORK (AFP) - New York transport authorities are considering modifying their trains to tackle a problem that has cursed commuters and cost thousands of dollars in compensation: trouser-ripping armrests.

The armrests, which are notorious among frequent users of the city's Metro North and Long Island lines, have a tendency to glide unnoticed into pockets as passengers sit down, only to rip through their trousers when they stand up.

The clingy, rubbery armrests also have a taste for coats and suit jackets.

"This has been going on a long time. It's a well-known issue," Metropolitan Transportation Authority spokesman Tim O'Brien said, explaining that technicians now thought they had come up with a solution to the curse.

Maybe somebody from that neck of the woods has heard of such a defense? If not, any lawyer who uses this owes me a consulting fee!