Santa Is In Real Trouble Now
We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have been working overtime documenting the unraveling of this year's Christmas delivery schedule by that right jolly old elf, Santa Clause. We covered the unfortunate, yet tasty, demise of Rudolph the Red-Nosed rib roast and the arrest and subsequent imprisonment of Blitzen on charges of reindeerjacking and joyriding. No we regretfully have to inform all the children of the world that Comet and Cupid have been kidnapped and wrongfully imprisoned in a British reindeer internment camp. They tried manfully - er - reindeerfully - to effect a remake of The Great Escape (with Comet reprising the Steve McQueen role), but it ended much as the movie did. They're right back in the same camp.
Male reindeer Basil and female sidekick Parsley gave staff the runaround and had them chasing across fields for hours Tuesday when they made a bid for freedom from Woodcote Green Nurseries in Wallington, south of London.
Basil gave them the slip for two hours but Parsley proved a tougher task, leading the pack on a nervy chase through traffic and fields before deciding enough was enough and headed back to nursery land.
The reunited escapologists were then left to cool off after their exploits.
Phil Norman, a Royal Society for the Prevention of Cruelty to Animals inspector who joined the chase, questioned the wisdom of using reindeer as a festive attraction.
"Given their association with pulling Santa Claus's sleigh, reindeer are increasingly seen in Christmas exhibits," he said.
"However, like all animals, they are likely to be highly stressed when confronted by crowds of people, unfamiliar noise and lights. The RSPCA believes that animals should not be used for entertainment when this is likely to cause distress or suffering."
But Clive Davis, the marketing manager for Woodcote Green Nurseries, insisted that the animals were well looked after and just too popular to axe.
"We have thousands of visitors who come and see the reindeer which is why we keep them," he said.
You'll note the two reindeer were extremely clever and gave false names. Note also the cute name they gave the internment camp. But by our count, Santa is now down to five tiny reindeer and may not be able to generate sufficient lift to clear the Alps. The big guy may be forced to use UPS this year. And we're not at all sure that UPS isn't somehow behind all the reindeer mayhem this year, either.
By Tom, Wednesday, 6 December , 2006 @ 5:45 pm
Guess that we might as well as cancel the Christmas shopping season, & buy seasonings for the reindeer BBQ.
By Gaius, Wednesday, 6 December , 2006 @ 5:47 pm
Hey, that’s a great idea! A Blue Crab Boulevard line of reindeer seasonings!