Swiss To Attack Ukraine
The Swiss city of Zürich is making a stealthy attack on the Ukrainian city of Vinnitsa. You see, the Swiss are donating their old commuter train cars to the city.
Zurich's city council said it is donating 13 trams to the town of Vinnitsa, 250 km southwest of Kiev where they will enter service next year and are expected to run for at least 12 more years.
The trams are being retired from the number 5 route running across town to Fluntern, an upscale neighbourhood on a hill where Joyce, who wrote part of his literary masterpiece Ulysses in Zurich and died there in 1941, is buried.
Another free consignment of up to 15 trams will be delivered by the end of 2008. Unlike some European cities, such as Milan and Lisbon, where trams dating from the 1930s are still in service, Zurich's trams are routinely withdrawn after 40 years.
Sounds friendly, right? No, it is not at all friendly. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard remember everything about the sneaky Animal Uprising™. Call it our mission in life. But because we remember, we know the real agenda the Swiss have here. Because what the Swiss are really doing is getting rid of their snake problem.
"We immediately took the train out of service," Eric Luthy, a spokesman for the Neuchatel Regional Transport company, said Thursday.
Since last Saturday, reptile experts and infrared devices have been unable to find the cold-blooded adder or coax it out of its hiding place with juicy bait.
Although the snake is not regarded as dangerous, passengers "wouldn't understand" if the train was put back into service with the 80 to 130 centimetre-long (2.6 to 4.2 feet) reptile slithering around, Luthy explained.
Those evil geniuses. And here you thought the Swiss were neutral.
By Lars Walker, Thursday, 7 December , 2006 @ 2:31 pm
Man, what would we do without you to alert us to these crises? There wouldn’t be anything to worry about at all in the word…
By Gaius, Thursday, 7 December , 2006 @ 2:33 pm
Darn good thing I’m on the job, then!