The Christmas Angel From Hell

So you go buy a Christmas tree, set it up in your living room and decorate it nicely, placing the angel on top like you always do. Everything is fine for a couple of days, but then one evening, the tree angel is suddenly replaced. By a commando from the Animal Uprising™. Yes, all of a sudden an offensive opossum offensive begins right in your living room.

On Dec. 18, 2005, the family bought an 8-foot Douglas fir from a dealer in Seltzer and set it up in their living room at 132 N. Ninth St. Two days later, a furry white opossum crawled out near the top, knocking off the decorative angel.

O’Connor’s daughter, Mary Kathleen, now 17, was in the living room studying at the time and was quite startled, her mother said.

The Pennsylvania Game Commission responded, removed the 18-inch marsupial from the tree and released it in a wooded area five miles away.

Yes, that happened last year, but we were not yet documenting the Animal Uprising then. But this year, the family that was terrorized by the hellish opossum of doom has decided to go with an artificial tree. Unfortunately, we here at Blue Crab Boulevard have a sneaking suspicion that the animals are ahead of them. That's right, this time they'll look up and see a mechanical opossum taking over the tree.