Animal Uprisingâ„¢ Sacrifices 1,400 Turks

The Animal Uprising™ engaged in some serious payback on the people of Turkey today. For many years, the Turks have celebrated the an annual feast with animal sacrifices. After killing the animal, they have a hearty meal. This year, the animals fought back, sending 1,400 Turks to hospital emergency rooms all across the country.

At least 1,413 people — referred to as "amateur butchers" by the Turkish media — were treated at hospitals across the country, most suffering cuts to their hands and legs, the Anatolia news agency reported.

Four people were severely injured, crushed under the weight of large animals that fell on top of them, the agency reported. Another person was hurt when a crane used to lift an animal tumbled onto him, the agency said.

Three other people suffered heart attacks and died while trying to restrain animals, CNN-Turk television reported.

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard want to know one thing: who gave the animals the knives to attack the humans with? Someone is running weapons to the sheep! (Good thing they didn't arm the camel.)

UPDATE: Ireland Online even notices this. Of course they miss the important part about the Animal Uprising™.

Two bulls escaped and caused havoc in the streets of the central Turkish city of Kayseri and in the south-eastern province of Sanliurfa, until they were caught with the help of veterinarians who fired tranquilliser darts.

Which makes you wonder if everyone fell asleep after the banquet.