Word from the Associated Press that the aliens have begun bombarding New Jersey. We understand that this would normally not actually attract any attention, but this time they hit a house.
FREEHOLD TOWNSHIP, N.J. – A metal, rock-like object about the size of a golf ball and weighing nearly as much as a can of soup crashed through the roof of a Monmouth County home, and authorities on Wednesday were trying to figure out what it was.
Nobody was injured when the oblong object, weighing more than 13 ounces, crashed into the home and embedded itself in a wall Tuesday night. Federal officials sent to the scene said it was not from an aircraft.
The rough-feeling object, with a metallic glint, was displayed Wednesday by police. "There's some great interest in what we have here," said Lt. Robert Brightman. "It's rather unusual. I haven't seen anything like it in my career."
Now, they say they don't know what it is. But our cracked investigative staff have found out the Real Truth™. Pouring over internet records of UFO sightings we came across this entry (And we swear this is exactly how the entry reads):
Freehold NJ Light 5 minutes A bright light that hoover motionless eventually ascended straight up 10/30/06
Which is exactly the evidence we needed to validate this picture. We now know the truth. You heard it here first:
If you hit a house, you get an extra five pxbbrnvs.
I thought it was six pxbbrnvs. Oh, wait. That’s Andromedan rules, never mind.
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