Carpet Bombing Of Colorado Cows Commences

National Guard troops have commenced bombing the cattle who have launched an assault on Colorado. The Animal Uprising™ is finally getting the attention of the authorities! We here at Blue Crab Boulevard can only heave a sigh of relief that our dire warnings are finally getting through.

LAMAR, Colo. - National Guard troops headed for snowbound fields in trucks piled high with hay Thursday and prepared their helicopters to resume an emergency haylift that had already dropped more than 900 bales across Colorado's rangeland in an effort to save stranded and starving cattle.

Using smaller helicopters, ranchers landed near frozen streams and used sledgehammers to chop ice from the water for the livestock to drink.

The situation on the snowbound plains is getting dire. Typically, cattle can survive only five to 10 days without food or water in good conditions, state veterinarian John Maulsby said. For the cattle in eastern Colorado and on the Kansas and Nebraska plains, it has now been a week since a blizzard dumped up to 3 feet of snow and whipped up 10-foot-high drifts.

Of course, regular readers know that we are often able to get pictures of these events because of our enormous network of profoundly deranged informants. As is the case today, of course:

(/humor - Keep up the good work, guys. The Colorado National Guard troops deserve a thank you.)