Down Under Goes Down

Loyal readers know that we here at Blue Crab Boulevard have spent a lot of time trying to raise human's awareness of the deadly Animal Uprising™. Despite visits from the mental health authorities and subsequent difficulty typing while wearing the stylish, long-sleeved white sport coat they provided us, we have soldiered on. Even the restraining orders have not stopped us from reporting the truth. Although we hasten to add that we never violate the orders and have stopped calling certain people at all hours of the day and night. We regret to inform our readers that all this selfless self-sacrifice has been for naught.

Australia has fallen to the Animal Uprising™. They have put humans on display at the Adelaide Zoo.

Over a month, the humans will be locked in an unused orang-utan cage at Adelaide zoo, braving the searing heat and snacking on bananas. They will be monitored by a psychologist who hopes to use the findings to improve conditions for real apes in captivity.

Audiences can vote for their favourite "ape" via mobile phone text messages, in the style of reality television shows, and at the end of the month, a "super human" will be selected to represent the zoo.

"They're completely mad", said one visitor to the exhibit, as the humans, who are allowed home at night, played up to the crowds and checked each other for imaginary lice.

"It's not as exciting as the animals actually, they're not really doing very much," another onlooker said, clearly unimpressed by the volunteers' shenanigans.

Australians make lousy zoo exhibitions, apparently. Serves them right for surrendering so quickly.

UPDATE: The shame of the Australian collapse and surrender will be broadcast live on the internet, apparently.

categories Animals | Gaius Tuesday, 9 January , 2007

Other Links to this Post

  1. Blue Crab Boulevard » More About Australia’s Surrender — Wednesday, 10 January , 2007 @ 1:36 pm

  2. Blue Crab Boulevard » Australia Pays Tribute — Monday, 15 January , 2007 @ 1:00 pm

  3. Blue Crab Boulevard » I’d Stay Away From The Sydney Zoo — Wednesday, 17 January , 2007 @ 8:05 am

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