Bearing Bad News

Police in Medford, Oregon allowed a scout of the Animal Uprising™ escape, apparently through some sort of misguided sense of compassion. The 400 pound black bear was wandering around performing a reconnaissance of the Eastern part of Medford.

A black bear's tree-top tour of an east Medford neighborhood ended late Thursday when the creature sauntered back to its territory somewhere near Roxy Ann Peak under the distant watch of two Medford police officers.

The some 400-pound bruin descended from its perch in a tree near Woodbridge Drive after 10 p.m. and headed east on Spring Street toward Pierce Road shortly after police dimmed their patrol vehicles' lights and drew away from the tree.

"We wanted things to be quiet so the bear would feel comfortable enough to climb down and leave," said Medford police Lt. Bob Hansen.

Calls about the bear started trickling in to Medford police dispatch between 4 and 4:30 a.m. Thursday.

Medford police, joined at times by Oregon State Police and Oregon Department of Fish and Wildlife officials, kept watch through the day to ensure the bear and the neighborhood residents stayed safe.

They say they just don't understand why the bear was there in the first place. Fools. He was there to scout for a planned invasion, of course. The bears intend to take over the town. No more sleeping in holes in the ground for them. They want split-levels and they aim to take what they want.