Goats Gone Wild

The village of Lynton in North Devon is under siege. Despite elaborate defenses erected by the town council, the invaders are sneaking in and raiding the cemetery. That's right, the goats are ghouls.

A £40,000 cattle grid may have to be redesigned after it failed to stop wild goats escaping from their beauty spot home and causing damage in a village.

The 70-strong herd has lived for centuries in the Valley of the Rocks - a site of special scientific interest overlooking Lynton in north Devon.

It was hoped that years of problems caused by escaped goats would be solved by the grid, which was installed mainly to keep in ponies introduced to help keep down ground cover.

But a dozen goats from the herd, a major tourist attraction, found a way to negotiate the grid and have been wandering and eating their way through the village.

The mayor says the goats are raiding the cemetery to "eat the cut flowers". Sure they are. Longtime readers will know this is simply not the case. We know what the goats are really after, don't we? The Animal Uprising™ claims another town.

(Unintentionally hilarious caption to the photo accompanying the article. What exactly is an unrelated goat? An orphan? Would a related goat be referred to as "cousin Billy?" Contact the Daily Mail and demand answers! Do not tell them we sent you, however.)