We here at Blue Crab Boulevard are dismayed to learn that Saudi Arabia is reportedly considering banning the letter 'X' because, they say, it resembles too closely the Christian cross. Or at least that is what the New York Sun is reporting today.
The new development came with the issuing of another mind-bending fatwa, or religious edict, by the infamous Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and Prevention of Vice — the group of senior Islamic clergy that reigns supreme on all legal, civil, and governance matters in the kingdom of Saudi Arabia.
The commission's damning of the letter "X" came in response to a Ministry of Trade query about whether it should grant trademark protection to a Saudi businessman for a new service carrying the English name "Explorer."
"No! Nein! Nyet!" was the commission's categorical answer.
Why?
Well, never mind that none of the so-called scholars manning the upper ranks of the religious outfit can speak or read a word of English. But their experts who examined the English word "explorer" were struck by how suspicious that "X" appeared. In a kingdom where Friday preachers routinely refer to Christians as pigs and infidel crusaders, even a twisted cross ranks as an abomination.
Now, Hot Air is reporting that this report may be, how can we put this delicately: a load of manure.
And it is, I guess: the subject of the piece, Amr Mohammad al-Faisal, wrote about the incident for the Arab News…
…more than three years ago, which tends to undercut the Sun’s assertion that this is a “new development.” Also, does the name “al-Faisal” ring any bells? Turns out our friend Amr is no ordinary Saudi; he’s a prince. If he really cared about the Commission for the Promotion of Virtue and the Prevention of Vice overreacting to Christian symbolism, surely he could do more to try to rein them in than whine in the pages of the regime’s favorite English-language house organ.
But, we here at Blue Crab Boulevard are not just going to sit here and let the Saudis get ahead of us in the banning department, nosirree. We're going for a preemptive ban. We have decided that the letter 'e' closely resembles a Pac-Man. Since we never got the hang of that accursed game and used to have to buy winners quite a large number of beers, we are banning the letter starting right now. Nvr again will that accursd vowl appar hr at Blu Crab Boulvard. W plan on going back through the archivs and liminating thm rtroactivly as wll. Commnts, too. That's it – it's all ovr for you, Mr. .
