Thank Heavens Our Politicians Are Serious

Yes, indeed, we should all give thanks for the serious, prudent, thoughtful and judicious politicians we are graced with in this great nation of ours. Why without them, we'd never resolve the really important issues confronting America.

Like who invented the hamburger.

NEW HAVEN, Conn. - A burger battle is brewing between a Texas state legislator and the owners of Louis' Lunch, a restaurant established in 1895, where it has been claimed that the hamburger was invented.

However, with the new session of the Texas legislature now under way, Republican State Rep. Betty Brown has proposed a resolution declaring Athens, Texas, is the original home of the hamburger.

Brown, an Athens resident, says that a long ago resident of the town, Fletcher Davis, had a luncheonette in the late 1880s and sold the first burgers there.

A magazine article also suggests that Davis not only created the hamburger, but sold it from a booth at the St. Louis World's Fair in 1904. A spokeswoman in Brown's office said she is proposing the resolution on behalf of the Athens Chamber of Commerce……

…..Mayor John DeStefano Jr., very much an advocate for his city, is backing the Lassens and their claims.

"It's a well-known and established fact that New Haven is the home of the hamburger. In fact, New Haven's claim to the hamburger is even supported and documented in the Library of Congress," DeStefano said.

DeStefano notes that New Haven has been a cradle of creativity, as the birthplace of the cotton gin, the first rubber tires, the corkscrew, the Frisbee, lollipops, Erector Sets and pizza.

Thank heavens they are solving all the weighty issues of the day. Idiots. Besides, everyone knows my great, great, great uncle Sven on my Mom's side invented the hamburger. He needed something to go with the fries after he invented those. Then it was on to ketchup.