Chimpmania!
It appears to be chimpanzee day in the world media. Generally, one has to hunt about to find a trifecta of related articles. Not today, however. There are chimps making news all over the wire services:
Item: Paternity tests for chimps! It seems that a chimpanzee refuge which requires all the male chimps to have vasectomies has nonetheless experienced the arrival of a baby chimp. No, it isn't a miracle or a case of parthenogenesis. It's a case of "whoops" - and it does happen to humans, too. Sometimes the snip doesn't work.
Teresa, who's been at Chimp Haven for the past year and a half, was missing during the morning rounds. Later, she appeared with a newborn chimpanzee in her arms.
"Well, we were all just a little bit surprised when we heard the news," said Linda Brent, a spokeswoman for Chimp Haven.
Teresa was in a group with 17 other chimpanzees — seven of them males.
Now Chimp Haven will have to determine paternity. "We're going to be doing a paternity test, just like you would do on people," Brent said.
Workers have started collecting hair samples from the chimps for testing. Once they identify the father, it's back to the operating room for him.
Geeze. And you thought child support was harsh. Item: No good deed goes unpunished. A female chimp at the Little Rock, Arkansas zoo thought she'd do a little housecleaning. All she asked in exchange was a few snacks. Were the zookeepers grateful that she cleaned their toilet? No, they rewarded her by knocking her out cold.
The 120-pound primate, Judy, escaped yesterday into a service area when a zookeeper opened a door to her sleeping quarters, unaware the animal was still inside.
As keepers tried to woo Judy back into her cage, she rummaged through a refrigerator where chimp snacks are stored. She opened kitchen cupboards, pulled out juice and soft drinks and took a swig from bottles she managed to open.
Keeper Ann Rademacher says Judy went into the bathroom, picked up a toilet brush and cleaned the toilet. Rademacher says the 37-year-old Judy was a house pet before the zoo acquired her in 1988, so she may have been familiar with housekeeping chores. Judy wrung out a sponge and scrubbed down the fridge.
It took a couple of tries, but the zoo sedated the chimp, who fell asleep on top of the refrigerator with half a loaf of cinnamon-raisin bread she had pulled out of the freezer.
We suspect that the zoo staff was upset that Judy thought their housekeeping was sub-subhuman. Item: Chimpdom's cigarette smoking helicopter hero has gone to visit that great Marlboro Country in the sky. The Congo reports Gregory has butted out.
BRAZZAVILLE (Reuters) - Gregory the chimpanzee, known for asking visitors for a drag of their cigarettes and his dramatic rescue by helicopter from Congo Republic's civil war, has died aged 62, zoo officials said on Wednesday.
The Jane Goodall institute arranged a helicopter rescue for Gregory in 1997 when the civil war was raging. We suspect that's when he took up smoking.
