When Cowmikazes Attack

Police in Newville, Pennsylvania report an incident of the latest depraved attack launched by the animal warlords of the Animal Uprising™. This time, they are launching suicide cows onto the Interstates. Fortunately, the cows, being thoroughly stupid as cows are wont to be, picked the wrong vehicle to jump in front of. Or maybe they were overachievers.

NEWVILLE - State police are dealing with a mystery involving a herd of wayward cows.

The cows were so wayward, police said, that five of them — half the herd — wandered onto Interstate 81 in Penn Twp., Cumberland County, and were hit by a tractor-trailer early Thursday.

The driver of the truck, Frederick Myers, 50, of Harrisburg, wasn't hurt in the crash just before 4 a.m., but his rig was disabled, police said. Three cows were killed in the impact and two others were so badly injured that police had to put them down, Sgt. Jonathan Mays said.

Another five were rounded up by a nearby farmer, who was still holding them yesterday, Mays said.

The mystery, he said, is who owns the animals.

Honestly, if the authorities would just listen to us here at Blue Crab Boulevard instead of lodging those pesky restraining orders against us, they'd know that the cowmikazes are "foreign fighters" of the animal legions.

Chicken Speak

Noted former British islamist extremist and world-renowned coward Omar Bakri Mohammed continues for some reason to get his extremist pronouncements published in the British and Western press. Despite the fact that he fled Britain for Beirut one step ahead of an indictment, then tried to sneak onto a British ship carrying women and children away from the war in Lebanon, the Telegraph still interviews brave sir jihadi. This time he pontificates about the a Muslim fifth column within the UK's police, military and civil service forces.

In claims condemned as a cynical attempt to create division, the co-founder of the extremist al-Muhajiroun group said that Britain was "digging a deep hole" for itself by allowing Muslims into the Services and Whitehall.

Speaking exclusively to The Sunday Telegraph in Lebanon, where he moved in August 2005 — at about the time it emerged the British authorities might charge him with incitement to treason — he claimed police officers, soldiers and civil servants would one day become radicalised.

"When you start to ask Muslims to join your Army and your police you are making a grave mistake. That British Muslim who joins the police today will one day read the Koran and will have an awakening," he said.

"Those moderates are one day going to be practising Muslims. Now what happens if they are British police or in the Army and they have weapons? How much information do they have about you that they will use to serve the global struggle?

Is there going to some element of extremists getting into the various groups? I would be throughly surprised if there were not. We've had examples of members of other hate groups joining police forces right here in the US. It is going to happen now and then. But this is such a blatant attempt to sow distrust and discord, I'm surprised that the Telegraph published it. I'm even more surprised that they don't mention this guy's attempts to flee the conflicts he promotes in his rants.

Frozen Silence

The village of Koogang in North Korea is very quiet these days. According to Chinese embassy officials it's quiet in a number of Northern villages this year. Because everyone in the village, man, woman or child froze to death this winter. While Kim Jong Il's favored people live in luxury.

The men who finally made it into the remote highland village of Koogang were greeted by an eerie silence and a gruesome sight.

Lying among the simple wooden huts and burnt remnants of wooden furniture, they found the bodies of 46 North Korean villagers, including women and children, all of whom had frozen to death. Cut off from the outside world by one of the harshest winters in many years, the villagers had suffered a macabre fate that has exposed both the desperate poverty and callous misrule blighting the Stalinist state.

More than 300 people are thought to have perished from cold so far this winter in North Korea's mountainous north, victims of temperatures as low as -30C and of an arrogant ruling clique.

"Nobody got out of the trap alive," said an official at the Chinese embassy in the capital, Pyongyang, who confirmed the events of Koogang. "After heavy snowfalls, there was a severe frost. The inhabitants were doomed."

In a country notorious for its secretiveness, the regime of President Kim Jong-il has made no mention of the deaths. As the rest of the population struggle to stay warm, 50,000 members of his ruling elite continue to live in splendid isolation in a compound in central Pyongyang – enjoying the benefits of hot water, central heating and satellite television.

The United Nations Development Program appears to have helped fund the luxury of the North Korean elite while doing nothing whatsoever for the people of Koogang. Note that extremely vocal critic of the US, Mark Malloch Brown, a close friend of George Soros by all reports, was the person in charge of that UN department for most of that time.

The new head of the United Nations, Ban Ki Moon, has ordered an emergency external review of all UN expenditure after claims that up to $100 million meant for development aid was channelled into the hands of North Korean officials.

The allegation, made by US officials, prompted fears that the money from the agency may have helped fund Pyongyang's secret nuclear bomb programme. Mr Ban's rapid response to the US claim is a sign that he wants to avoid being dragged down by the sort of UN scandals that dogged his predecessor as secretary general, Kofi Annan. The organisation's former chief was widely criticised for his handling of the Iraqi oil-for-food affair, under which Saddam Hussein skimmed off an estimated $10 billion from the UN programme.

In the latest "dollars-for-dictators" controversy to embroil the UN, officials at its Development Programme (UNDP) acknowledged that since 1998 it had employed North Korean staff, hand-picked by the Stalinist regime of Kim Jong-il, and paid their salaries and other expenses in hard currency into a fund controlled by Pyongyang.

The UNDP, headed by Sir Mark Malloch Brown, a Briton, for much of that period, relied on audits conducted by the North Korean government to track the use of funds to help the desperately poor population of a country where millions have died from famine in recent years.

The legacy of the Kofi Annan years in the UN will continue to be felt for years to come. The UN, instead of helping the people of North Korea, enabled the monster who rules there to live in luxury while people starved and froze to death.