Fearsome Felon Flies Free

British authorities are desperately searching for one of the masterminds of the Animal Uprising™ who escaped from one of the British animal prisons (cunningly disguised as a "zoo" to avoid terrifying the populace). The felon, one Florence "Pinkie" Flamingo, is thought to be the mastermind behind the recent rash (or rashers, as the case may be) of bad bacon that has broken out in Britain lately. (Being pink, Pinkie has an in with the pigs).

LONDON (AFP) - Keepers at a British zoo are in a flap about a flamingo missing since it was blown away by the storms that battered Europe last week.

Florence, a pink Chilean flamingo, was caught unawares by a sudden gust on January 15 and was blown clean out of Drusillas Park zoo near the southeast English coast.

The flamingo was sucked into the air and dumped in a nearby field — and despite a number of sightings since, worried zookeepers have failed to recapture her.

"It is agony for us," a park spokeswoman told AFP on Wednesday. "She was seen earlier today but (she) is still at large."

Managers have offered annual membership and entry passes for the zoo for information leading to the safe recapture of Florence, who was born at the park in 2004.

But despite their best efforts Florence — who has had her wings clipped — has so far managed to give them the slip.

One of our sources heard from a friend who had it on good authority from their barber who had overheard it in a train station from a guy who had been eavesdropping that the felonious fowl had carved new flight feathers out of a bar of soap. That intelligence may be a bit inaccurate. So be on the lookout, faithful British readers. But be aware that Pinkie is considered armed - er - winged - and dangerous.

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  By Uncle Pinky, Wednesday, 24 January , 2007 @ 10:26 pm

  < ?xml version="1.0" encoding="utf-8"?> < !DOCTYPE html PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD XHTML 1.0 Transitional//EN" "http://www.w3.org/TR/xhtml1/DTD/xhtml1-transitional.dtd"> This is what happens when I put in an RSS feeder. So caught up in the mundane that my operatives go rogue. Pinky6 ( a mongoose in Jamaica) has gone completely off the wire, and Pinky 73 (Kitsune in Kyoto) is providing dubious reports. These, and many others, are agents who hope to bring the Human Resistance and Animal Uprising to a peaceful conclusion. Please contact me before publishing potentially damaging information in re the A.U. involving the trigger word Pink. Not for the purposes of censorship, but for the benefit of all (human and animal). P.S. Screw the Plantae.

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  By Uncle Pinky, Wednesday, 24 January , 2007 @ 10:28 pm

  Bugger. Bugger and blast. Left that tag way open. Apologies.

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  By Gaius, Wednesday, 24 January , 2007 @ 10:36 pm

  Fixed it. Hey, it happens.

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1. Blue Crab Boulevard » Cannibal Cow Causes Chaos — Saturday, 27 January , 2007 @ 8:58 am