Soothing Snakes

We here at Blue Crab Boulevard have long been trying to get people to pay attention to the gathering menace of the Animal Uprising™. There are the occasional signs that people are paying attention to our calm and rational reporting like the Latvian police who sent the SWAT team when a loose pig was spotted at a gas station. All too often, though, there are reports that indicate some people just do not get it. Like the spa owner in Israel who has decided that dropping snakes on a client is a good idea.

For 300 shekels (35 pounds), clients at Ada Barak's spa in northern Israel can add a wild twist to their treatment by having six non-venomous but very lively serpents slither and hiss a path across their aching muscles and stiff joints.

"I'm actually afraid of snakes, but the therapeutic effects are really good," customer Liz Cohen told Reuters Television as Barak let the snakes loose on her body.

Barak uses California and Florida king snakes, corn snakes and milk snakes in her treatments, which she said were inspired by her belief that once people get over any initial misgivings, they find physical contact with the creatures to be soothing.

You put a snake on us and we'll show you soothing. The important thing here is that while the client is busy trying to convince themselves that they must be getting soothed since they actually paid for this, the snake's accomplices are rifling through the client's purse collecting personal information. (Snakes are bad like that). They then use the client's stolen credit card numbers to buy shoes, which fascinate them even if they can't actually use them. That's what our informant who visited the spa told us, anyway. At least we think that was what she was telling us through all the shrieking. We probably should have warned her what asking for the "special" meant.

Coincidentally, we happen to have an opening for an informant. Please submit a resume of your qualifications if interested in an exciting career in the new media.