We are proud to be the first to present the newest collectible action figure from Crustacean Toy Works, Ltd. This one, ripped from today's fishwrapper, will be an instant classic! Bigger than the talking Algore (withdrawn from the market when people complained that they could not tell the action figure from the real thing) or the Dancing Michael Moore (withdrawn from the market because houses kept collapsing). It's the Talking Chucky Hagel Posturing action figure! Pull the two cords (they're tied together so you have to pull both at once) and it speaks!
Is it a Janus Hagel or an Hagel-ian dialectic?