Home Invasion

The Animal Uprising™ has taken to another new tactic, home invasion. No longer content with their suicide deer tactics where the antlered terrors hurl themselves in front of your car in hopes of causing you to crash, they are now crashing through windows and right on into the house.

CAMBRIDGE, Maine – A Cambridge family was minding its business at home when a deer bounded through a parlor window, hurdling a sofa and scrambling through the home before being wrestled into a bathroom and locked in.

The 100-pound doe smashed the window Thursday night but somehow managed not to upset any of the heirlooms and antiques in the home, said Lori Cunningham.

"It's gone and we're stuck with a really big mess," she said Friday afternoon as her husband, Matthew, went about replacing the window.

Matthew Cunningham didn't know what kind of animal it was, but he struggled with the creature to get it away from his 4-year-old son. Once it was in the bathroom, the deer settled down underneath a pedestal sink and next to a radiator.

He didn't know what kind of animal it was? Must be a city boy. After they managed to herd the beast out of the house, however, it reverted to its old tactics:

The deer tried to crawl under the office desk but eventually escaped through the window only to run in front of an 18-wheeler on Route 150. The couple heard the squeal of the truck's brakes, but the deer kept on running to safety.

Frankly, this new tactic will be devastatingly effective unless people follow our advice at once. Set spring snare traps in front of each window in your house that is big enough for a deer to fit through. That's what we do around here. The kids get used to being jerked into the air after a while, don't worry.