Please Do Not Feed Coeds To The Squirrels
One university in Virginia has sent an email to students asking them to refrain from feeding the squirrels. People will start talking if too many coeds are eaten. The Animal Uprising™ has to feed its troops somehow.
LYNCHBURG, Va. - Audrey Hudgins never saw it coming, but then, who would have?
Hudgins, a sophomore from Durham, N.C., was sitting on a bench outside the campus' Main Hall on Tuesday when a squirrel crawled up her leg and sat in her lap.
"They come close to you, they're really friendly, but they don't climb on you," Hudgins said Wednesday.
To Hudgins' surprise, the squirrel - described as an infamous chowhound named Toby - snatched a piece of the strawberry Nutri-Grain bar she was holding.
"I said to myself, That doesn't happen every day.' "
But when Toby went back for a second bite it locked on, and bit through Hudgins' right thumbnail.
At that point, the communications major said she tried to unlatch the squirrel by beating it against the bench.
"What else do you do in that situation?" she asked. "There's no stop, drop and roll."
Hudgins is now undergoing a series of rabies shots, since the squirrel escaped and was not tested. We here at Blue Crab Boulevard strongly recommend keeping a bat (baseball variety, not winged mouse) close at hand. It can be handy when squirrels attack. Although beating it against the park bench was a nice touch, too.
Additional story coverage here.
By Dan Patterson, Sunday, 4 February , 2007 @ 2:29 pm
Ruger in .22 short.
Handy for fending off unwanted advances of all sorts.