Snow Day, With Skunk

We have been in a real cold snap here in the Midwest. To add to the sheer joy of all that, we got hit with a sharp winter storm last night. The snowfall, not all the big an amount, was made much worse by high winds. Drifting is a real problem. The schools all over the area were closed and my wife decided she really did not want to try the roads (smart move) and stayed home. So I made it unanimous and stayed home, too. When I did venture out to get some milk, the roads were awful, even in the wife's Subaru. Bitter cold, high winds and loose snow do not a good travel day make.

So the kids watched television, my wife worked from home and I puttered around making beef stew for dinner and blogging now and then. I was sitting at my desk and suddenly became aware of a smell. Now this smell didn't gradually build up. No, it came all at once and hit with the subtlety of a Louisville Slugger to the side of the head. The unmistakable, eye-watering reek of skunk.

It is broad daylight in a freezing cold, wind howling winter and our dog got sprayed by a skunk.

Now for all the folks who may not be familiar with God's little natural teargas bombs. Skunks do not, as a rule wander about in broad daylight. Skunks do not, as a rule, wander about in winter very much. And skunks, if they do wander about in winter, wait for a decently warm evening to do so. Healthy skunks, that is.

What we have here is very, very likely not a healthy skunk. I called the sheriff's office and they strongly – very, very strongly – recommended shooting the skunk on sight. But not, under any circumstances, in the head. They want that examined. I went out for a bit and floundered through the drifts but did not see the creature. My wife and daughter mixed up the solution the vet recommended and bathed the dog, three times, thank you, and life goes on.

But I talked to my neighbor's wife just to let her know not to get alarmed if she heard gunfire. She informed me that the skunk had sprayed her husband two days ago. The weather was actually worse two days ago. So that pretty well confirms a very, very sick skunk. (I tried to call the state wildlife folks, but they were closed). At the moment, there are a couple of guns placed in strategic locations in case it wanders out where I can see it. (I think it is under the neighbor's pine tree at the moment).  

My wife just read this and pointed out the obvious. The Animal Uprising™ is obviously afraid of the fearless reporting that Blue Crab Boulevard has been providing about their nefarious schemes. They are sending rabid skunk warriors to silence your faithful reporter. We need more full automatic weapons! (Donations cheerfully accepted, just hit the AmmoPal donation button.)