Recreational Reptiles
The reptile legions of the Animal Uprising™ are at it again. The alligators have become masters of disguise through the years, disguising themselves as doormats, gift-wrapped packages and as luggage. But now they have reached an incredible, almost unbelievable, level of camouflage ability.
They are disguising themselves as golf balls.
NEW PORT RICHEY — A man retrieving balls from a golf course lake was attacked by a 7-foot alligator this morning, suffering minor injuries to his foot, authorities said.
Vernon Messier, who was wearing a diver's wet suit, was standing in waist-deep water on the No. 5 hole of the Timber Greens Golf Course at about 10 a.m. when the alligator bit his left foot, Pasco County sheriff's spokesman Doug Tobin said.
Messier told deputies he gouged at the creature's eyes and tried to pry its jaws apart while trying to free himself, Tobin said. Messier refused medical treatment and said he would drive himself to a hospital.
This is very bad news for golfers. They now have to worry about one of their innocent looking golf balls suddenly attacking them. We urge all golfers to do as we do and put a baseball bat in the golf bag. Oh, sure, people look at you funny when you beat on your golf balls with the bat, but better safe than sorry!
By Sylvia, Thursday, 15 February , 2007 @ 11:40 am
I’ve heard that gila monsters are notorious for latching on to an unsuspecting Arizonan golfer’s thumb as he reaches in the cup to retrieve his golf ball. Plunging the arm and critter into cold water is the easiest way to get those nasty little jaws to release.
It would have made a good addition to Caddyshack…
By Blackhawk, Thursday, 15 February , 2007 @ 7:47 pm
Baseball bat?? More like 12-guage with slugs. But, given my propensity for testing the “do golf balls float” theory when I golf, I’d probably be better off bringing a harpoon gun.